I had to keep dropping off an I.B.M.ThinkPad they sold me because something in my O.S. was causing applications to crash. Each repair seemed to count down no more than 72 before the next malfunction. A friend of mine from Hyde Park Gym, whose company refurbished pre-Lenovo ThinkPads for non-profits' use, struck up a conversation about my constantly having it with me at the gym,  on the way to/from STPC He said, "Tell S.T. this happens with ThinkPads: The bios are vulnerable to malware and a lot of times, something will be "hiding" in your O.S. when they think they've fixed it. it will detect the repair and attack another application. They need to back up your files and reinstall the O.S." I relayed his advice accordingly, but they're too bloody intelligent to follow anybody else's advice.

I told Star Tech that if they didn't think they needed to reinstall my O.S., their alternative strategy would have to be no less effective in resolving the problem; the next time I brought it back would be for a my $650, not another exhibition of their Special Olympics drool-and-diaper approach to their profession.

"We don't offer refunds", they attempted. 

"Mugging victims don't 'offer' their wallets, either; they simply recognize that they're in no position to dictate compliance. The only difference here is, a mugging victim doesn't have MY money in their pocket, 

Well, they decided to offer me $550 credit to my debit card plus some free peripherals rather than risk the computer having something else crop up after I take it home. Given their inability to diagnose the problem with my computer and fix it for good,  they showed remarkable cognitive skills in deducing a veiled threat.  Like good little assault victims, they exhibited the appropriate self-preservation measures.  They swiped my debit card and the funds took 3 days to post. I'm not blaming them for THAT; banks take longer to credit than debit.

Only then did I log onto my email, at another store, on a computer I was interested in, and find my buddy's offer of $600. Cursing my luck, I attempted the purchase of the new machine but the transaction declined; the $550 hadn't yet posted. I called my friend and verified the offer still on the table and asked S.T. to stop payment on the $550 since it wasn't in my account yet, and give me the I.B.M to sell for the $600.

Somewhere along the line 24-72 hours after I bought the new computer and put the left-over balance from $600 on my card, the $550 posted because instead of properly executing a Stop-Payment-Request against my transaction Star Tech's strong point seems to be simultaneously unbuttoning their trousers and tripping over a rock, leaving their hindquarters presented in the manner of a turned-out prison fish that owes canteen and doesn't want to go to 23-hour-seg.

But, in keeping with their turned-out prison fish nature, they punked out and reported the $550 to Austin Police Department. When I went to court, I showed the judge the transaction record on my debit card. The credit swipe at Star Tech, the preauthorization  and decline on the second computer, the deposit of the remaining cash balance following the cash-purchase of the computer and the delayed credit of the first $550. The judge realized that they couldn't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that I knowing kept the $550 for all of my troubles with Star Tech and voided the criminal charges, leaving in place a civil judgement. But she said Star Tech swore an affidavit representing their loss to be $870, not $550. So Her Honor set a date for a Differed Adjudication hearing because the pussies didn't even appear at my court date. They also punked out of the subsequent hearing because they knew their transaction records would match the $550 on mine and potentially face charges of making false statements.

The Probation Agent at the D/A hearing said she would have to go by my transaction record alone as the victims had forfeited the larger judgement. She also said that she'd seen people like me before that can articulate a convincing cover-up and hide behind plausible deniablity.  "You meet the definition of a sociopath. Anybody can stick a gun in somebody's face and rob them. Your character witnesses said you were a nice guy who had taken care of their cats when you were their roommate and that you guessed 83% Jeopardy questions correctly. You KNEW the $550 had been added to your account and you felt entitled to retain it, knowing that you could feign ignorance of a bank error. That you can do that and have parents of kids you teach guitar to and and roommates who talk you up as a cat-loving Jeopardy nerd makes me sure you're going to kill somebody one day and that you'll go home and play the piano. I'm not dismissing your probation case on their forfeiture;

I guess she forgot that Texas doesn't extradite from Denver, Colorado over a civil judgement.